Gianna Vallefuoco



Many of us are curious about the concept of meditation, but we may feel we’re not cut out for something that requires so much discipline and inactivity. In fact, some non meditators have even expressed that it looks like “pointless suffering.” This misconception is often based on the idea that meditation is intended only for those who are naturally inclined to sit still. I assure you, neither my mind nor body had ever gravitated toward stillness except, occasionally, while sleeping. Some assume meditation means having no thoughts, and knowing how to enter a deep state. That would indeed seem difficult for any of us who aren’t monks living in the mountains. Fortunately none of these traits is necessary for meditation. Meditation is a practice for all humans.

For those of us who live amidst real life stressors like work, other humans, and life’s expectations, then sitting still without thoughts would be near impossible. Meditation is not about achieving stillness, or any goal. Instead, it is based on the act of practice rather than anything resembling perfection. Meditation values the process, not any outcome. Meditation is about becoming the observer of your thoughts, not getting rid of thoughts. Meditation is a practice to quiet the mind, not to suddenly enter a trance.  In fact, in the buddhist psychology tradition, the “trance” is what is considered our warped perspective when we’re not present and connected to ourselves and others; the trance of separateness. When meditation becomes a regular practice, we learn how to move away from that trance. We begin to know ourselves better, feel more compassionate and connected to others, find a quieter mind, fewer thoughts, and even a calm mental state. These are natural consequences of regular meditation.

To meditate, we simply seek some level of stillness of mind.  We embrace curiosity, not judgement.  We detach from outcome. We become the gentle witness of the mind. We create distance from our thoughts and emotions, so we are no longer trapped in the stories of the mind. We repeat this distancing process over and over. This is the practice.

As we meditate, we intentionally train the brain to create a habit or reflex of seeking stillness. The brain has the capacity to change in response to repeated experience.  This ability is called neuroplasticity. The more we meditate, the more we are able to strengthen circuits in the brain to make meditation easier.

In meditation we can choose an anchor, such as our breath. Each time a thought arises, we learn to release it and come back to the anchor. As we become more aware, we notice the thought arising, we can then name it, deeming it a “thought,” and releasing it. This is meditation; the ongoing process of quieting the mind, without judgement, with curiosity, and with compassion.  Self compassion is an important quality of meditation. Go easy on yourself as you meditate.

Remember; meditation is always a practice, and never a perfection. For this reason, meditation is truly for everyone. The most daunting meditation is often the first. The battle is getting your tush on the cush(cushion.) Once you’ve meditated even one time, you’ve begun the practice. You cannot fail at meditating. You can only fail to try. If you’re ready to start, try a meditation app like Insight Timer or Headspace or join me in this short video INTRO TO MEDITATION WITH BODY SCAN.


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